So this summer at a ward function, I had a girl that I didn't know (she was visiting) say to me in a nasty way , "Are you the Primary President? Because you look like a primary president." I have to say, I was speechless. I really didn't know what to say. Finally, she said, "You just look really righteous," and turned away to talk to someone else. I know it is silly, but it made me feel bad. I thought about it a lot. I have always had this fear of people thinking that I think I'm really righteous or that I don't have problems of my own. I worry that they will feel like they can't be themselves around me or that they could never be my friend. And I also wondered what a primary president looks like? Jump suits and permed bangs came to mind, maybe because my primary days were from the 80s!
My dear sister-in-law was visiting at the time, and so I came home and told her what happened. She told me an interesting story. She said she was very wild growing up. After her divorce, she decided she wanted to go to the temple. Her roommates were shocked and wondered why she would want to do that, but she felt she should and she did. But all around her were Mormon girls, who didn't dress very modestly. So she just thought that that was how Mormon girls dressed, and she kept wearing her low shirts and tight clothing. Then she said one day, she was talking to a girl about church, and the girl said to her, "Oh, I didn't know you were a Mormon!" My sister-in-law said it really made her think, and the more she thought, the more upset she got. She decided that she never wanted anyone to ever have any doubts again about what kind of person she was. Now, she is very careful about how she dresses.
And so I have thought a lot lately, too. I have always tried to fit in, to not judge, to be okay with people no matter what their choices. And I don't think I should judge, but I think I have taken it too far and not let it be known what I believe and know to be right. If I saw the prophet, I would want him to see me and know from just looking at me that I am good. And why would I want anyone else to think any different? I hope the light of Christ shines in me so that when He comes again, there will be no mistaking who I am.
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love you Katie<3
ReplyDeleteI hope Primary Presidents don't have to wear jump suits and have permed bangs to be effective.
ReplyDeleteI am one that doesn't usually let people know I am Primary President because I don't want to give off a false impression that I am too righteous.
Sometimes it is hard because you do want to be good and righteous but you don't want to seem so righteous that others don't feel they can relate to you.
I just love you Katie because you are one who is always thinking of others and how you can make them feel better about themselves.
When I look at you I don't see Primary President I see Relief Society President. So much superior to Primary President on a righteous scale.
Katie, you ARE good. Inside and out. And you're very fashionable, which is a bonus.
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this. I love it when you write about your feelings/thoughts/desires. You are good and I love you.
What a wonderful observation that young lady made, Katie. She knew you just by looking at you. And if that made her prick just a little inside, there is some self-reflection coming her way sometime in the future for the Spirit will communicate to her what she can become.
ReplyDeleteLast weekend I had a similar experience in a women's bathroom at a sports arena. While I was washing my hands I noticed a woman waiting in line that just kept staring at me. As I passed her on my way out she said, "You look very wholesome." I simply thanked her and mentioned that I tried. It made me feel good.
Don't ever hide who you are. You are glorious.