Shingles Update 2

Somehow, it makes me feel better to write things down. I guess I don’t really need to share my problems with the millions who read my blog (okay, the 3!), but somehow, sharing helps too.

My friend who I car-pool with to school informed me that last week, Gabe said quite seriously on the way home, “I think my mom probably lost her eye today while I was at school.”

We told the kids that the doctor said there was a chance I would lose my eye because of the shingles, but I guess I can’t complain about the doctor not choosing his words very well because obviously I didn’t explain it very well to my own kids.

Two weeks ago, I went to the eye doctor, and he told me I have a "serious condition" where the nerve that moisturizes my eye is not working, so my eye is drying out. He said if they could not fix it, I would lose my eye. I worried about it all week long, and finally met again with the doctor. He said the eye is looking better, but still has inflammation in it that could scar. He put permanent plugs in my eye to try to keep the moisture in and has started me on a steroid. The steroid will help the inflammation, but it also causes pressure to build up in the eye, so I can't be on it too long. He told me that as we get older, our eyes get more dry, so it is likely that years down the road, I will have to have my eyelid dropped or part of my eye sewn up in order to better protect my eye. As for now, I feel okay about this, and actually relieved. He answered many of my questions, and I do believe that my eye will be okay and that my eyesight will return fully. I am grateful.

I cleaned out the drain yesterday, and was sick when I saw how much hair I pulled out. It was almost as much as was on my head. It was that much! It hasn’t been that long since I last cleaned the drain, probably only 3 months. I learned a few months ago, that the shingles are also making me lose my hair. It kills the follicles of the scalp, and the hair will not grow back. It has been devastating to me. But as a friend reminded me, I am grateful that there are options available to deal with it. My sweet sister-in-law told me she would even learn how to put in hair extensions for me.

In other news, the headache is still a constant companion to me. It varies to a dull pain to sometimes a sharp pain. The left side of my head is still numb which really bugs me, but I think maybe if it weren’t numb, maybe I would be in more pain so it could be a blessing. Because it is numb, I don’t feel a thing when I pluck my eyebrow. And when I cut onions, I don’t even shed a tear, not even one. And my allergies only bother one eye!

I think I talk about these shingles a lot, and everyone is probably tired of hearing about them. I know I am tired it always being on my mind. I’m ready to move on. Part of the problem is that I have to put eye drops in my eye constantly, so that is ALWAYS reminding me of the problems I am dealing with. So I came up with this kind-of corny idea to help me. I got these stickers with the picture of the Savior on them when I was in Primary, and so I put one sticker on each of my medications. So every time I use them (which is ALL THE TIME), I try to remember that what I am going through is nothing to what He has gone through. Seeing Him gives me hope, hope that I will have a perfect body in the resurrection, and hope that things will all work out okay. I am hoping that that hope will make me complain less, have a more positive attitude, and have more patience. Remembering Him does make me want to be more like Him.