Shingles Report: Piecing together the last two weeks!

Sunday, June 19: While waiting to turn left onto my sister’s street in Utah, a car slams into the back of us. It is a hard hit, and the cop says that we will all suffer from whiplash.

Monday, June 20-Wednesday, June 29: Head and neck and back pain. No bike rides for awhile.

Thursday, June 30: Woke up with a headache and had it all day. It didn’t get really bad until that night.

Friday, July 1: Nate took an hour off work to take me to the Urgent Care this morning. I have such a horrible migraine. It would bring me to tears except it hurts to cry, too. They prescribed some heavy pain killers. I can’t eat anything, and when I try, I throw up . . . a lot. The kids kind-of had to watch themselves today, and at one point, no one was home and I don’t know where they were. Friday night the pain was so bad I had to go to the emergency room. The kids were  all in bed, so we woke up Sam and put him on the couch with a cell phone and told him he was in charge. They did a CATScan at the hospital and drugged me with more pain killers and Benadryl to make me sleep. The pain never went away, but I could sleep through part of it.

Saturday, July 2: Don’t remember. Slept all day?

Sunday, July 3: My head hurts so bad it is back to the emergency room. I haven’t eaten in 3 days, and Nate makes a “joke” about me throwing up at the hospital again, which of course makes me throw up at the hospital again. Once again, they put me to sleep and give me an IV, and tell me, “There’s really nothing we can do for a headache.”

Monday, July 4: Slept all day. Started getting sores above my eye. I missed the whole day of celebration.

Tuesday, July 5: Back to urgent care where the doctor took one look at my head and said, “That’s not a migraine. Those are shingles.” More shots. More medication. Wayne & Frances take the kids to Boise without reservation. I think Nate packed them each two shirts and a pair of pajamas.

Wednesday, July 6: Eye is puffy and swollen almost shut. Can’t see. Big, open sores cover the left side of my head. Look like girl from Idaho Meth Project billboards. Sister Coyne and Jill brought dinner.

Thursday, July 7: Can’t sleep or eat or see. Valerie brought dinner.

Friday, July 8: Appointment with eye doctor. Didn’t sleep all night, so I was sleepy today. The Ames’ brought us dinner.

Saturday, July 9: Russ stopped by to visit. It was good to see someone. The Dances (who had a baby yesterday) bring dinner.

Sunday, July 10: Priesthood brought over sacrament. I was glad because I don’t think I’ve ever gone two weeks without it. It is interesting to have the Sacrament prayer said only for you.

Monday, July 11: Chiropractor appointment. Painful!

Tuesday, July 12: Swelling in eye has gone down. Can see pretty well.

Wednesday, July 13: Today my kids are coming home! The anticipation alone made it hard to sleep. Head hurts, but I am going stir crazy.  When someone stops by or calls I won’t let them leave or hang up! I think I am going insane.

Thursday, July 14: I had a hard time getting to sleep, but I slept pretty okay during the night. Rebekah came and let me take a nap this afternoon. The pain is really bad if I don’t take medicine every four hours. Chiropractor said it will take a lot of visits to  him to get my neck straightened again. I dread it every time I have to go. I hate it when he tries to “align my neck,” but the worst is when he gives me acupuncture in my hands. He puts electricity through it and it makes my nerves twitch.  I am so glad my kids are back, but I admit, it’s hard, too. The scabs on my head are falling off. Rebekah spends the day with me and plays with the kids. Val & Tanya make us dinner.

Friday, July 15: Constant headache. I stopped in to a natural health food place, and they gave me some natural Shingles remedies. I am anxious to see how they work.

It has been hard for me to see the purpose in this experience. It came at a bad time when I should have been being the mom to my kids. My parents are on a mission, so we should just be receiving blessings, right? It also happened during that rare time in Idaho Falls when the weather is nice and the kids are out of school. What was the purpose of this pain and suffering that couldn’t wait until my kids were older and able to care for themselves? The answer is that I don’t know, and I may never know. What I do know is that I won’t be the same after this. It made me realize how little I really know, and how precious and fragile is life.

#1. It made me realize how blessed I am to have friends and family. Every phone call, every meal brought over, every offer to help brought tears to my eyes. It is a good feeling to know that people love you and you won’t be alone when trials come. I had to include names in my “Shingles Report” because I have always had this silly idea that I will be able to take that list to heaven with me and properly thank those people who  have done so much for me in this life.

# 2. It made me realize we can’t always keep our trials to ourselves. I have been thinking about how hard Nate and I prayed for the pain to leave those first few days, and it didn't. It occurred to me that maybe this time it was something that needed the prayers of many. We are hesitant to share our struggles with others, but it seemed like as soon as Nate called our family for help and they started praying, our prayers were heard, and relief came. 

#3. The compassionate leader in our ward said sometimes we have to experience those things in order to really know the definition of words like agony and suffering. It is a depressing thought, but I must admit that I will never casually throw around a word like “pain” again.

These words by Elder D. Todd Christofferson resonated deeply with me:
“The followers of Alma established a Zion community in Helam but then were brought into bondage. They did not deserve their suffering—quite the contrary—but the record says:

“’Nevertheless the Lord seeth fit to chasten his people; yea, he trieth their patience and their faith.

“’Nevertheless—whosoever putteth his trust in him the same shall be lifted up at the last day. Yea, and thus it was with this people’” (Mosiah 23:21–22).

“The Lord strengthened them and lightened their burdens to the point they could hardly feel them upon their backs and then in due course delivered them (see Mosiah 24:8–22). Their faith was immeasurably strengthened by their experience, and ever after they enjoyed a special bond with the Lord.”

And then these words by Elder Kent F. Richards:
“As I pondered, I came to understand that during His mortal life Christ chose to experience pains and afflictions in order to understand us. Perhaps we also need to experience the depths of mortality in order to understand Him and our eternal purposes.”

It is true, the depths of mortality make you focus more on eternity than on the worldly here and now, everyday stuff. I am feeling better, and last night it occurred to me that I could be like that bad guy on Fantastic Four who has those streaks of metal filling in the spots on his face! Or I could be the next Two-Face. And isn’t that the moral of every good superhero story—your trial makes or breaks you. It will either turn you into an evil super-villain, or it will make you better and stronger than you ever could have been without it.